Friday October 17^th

8:25PM

Dear Diary,

Forced by Rick to appear on Late Night with Letterman and apologize for skipping previously scheduled appearance, as absence somehow presented "deep insult" to public. It seems skipping Letterman of more consequence to American People than solving financial crisis, or zipping over to Miss Alaska Governor Palin’s interview with Katie couric to give Sarah new cue cards before she destroyed campaign altogether.

Am suspicious Obama got wind of my Joe the Plumber plant and replaced Letterman with plant of his own, as interview was toughest grilling I’ve had since Hanoi; in fact, not even well placed joke about prisoner of war torture could defuse unconcealed resentment. I wish luck to any woman who stands him up on a date. Too bad Letterman too old to have drafted…

Lots of questions about some folks getting overexcited at Republican rallies—completely uncalled for, no worse than what they’re shouting at Obama rallies and Madonna concerts these days. And grilled to high heaven about Gov. Palin. Letterman suspicious I won’t let her appear on his show. Find it insulting to be accused of micromanaging running mate, and it’s not like I don’t let her out of holding cell sometimes. In fact, she’s even doing Saturday Night Live this week (equipped with her own staff of writers, strictly instructed not to let her say anything not on list of quota words, of course).

And like I told Letterman, Reagan had no experience in international affairs either before assuming presidency. Couldn’t even see Russia from his house!

Maverick, over and out.

John