Wednesday, January 19th
11:05am

Dear Heterosexual Diary,

I don't see why everyone thinks I need to apologize to the queers. I mean it is not like I said anything all THAT wrong, I just think that they should not have all the same rights as everyone else. I know that doesn't seem like a good thing to say but I mean look at me - I am living the straight life. Oh sure, in the navy when it was a total sausage fest I might have stuck my wiener where it didn't belong but I am living the good life now with Cindy. I like boobs diary, and I want everyone to know that. If I ever even let on that I was okay with homosexuals in the military then my previous corn hole actions might have been called to attention - and, c'mon, I don't want that. Besides, all of this drama provides great conversation in the Republican bath house - well, when we get any talking done.

I think "Don't Ask Don't Tell" is a great way for anyone to live their lives - why do either, you know?

Oh man I just thought of a great campaign for any of the Bush dynasty that might run for office - heh, "Got Bush". Oh shucks that is a good one I need to share that with Cindy when she is sober. I guess that is all for now.

Thank you for listening,

Johnny "Bottom Boy" McCain